Beads of her bracelet with
rifts of a paused heartbeat;
Caress did she their edges,
lost in memories obsolete.
Outside the cold rain did soothe,
the parched left out window sill;
So did the trickling tear drop
scurrying across her cheeks downhill.
Will there be a day
as bright as a stack of flaming hay?
with ardent winds pulling at the clouds
shaking the heavy grey away?
Then will the stream giggle again,
with the rainbow seeping colors form the sun;
Then will the nascent stalks raise their heads
To be called forest, to be among them one.
Till then the fingers will fail to sense
everything else but the cold it feels,
Till then will the eyes strain across
eagerly anticipating a trace of wheels.
Highly interesting. Saying something, and saying a hundred other things, without saying them. I keep talking about this to you. You have this way of putting thoughts in your reader's mind, without explicitly telling them what you have in your mind. Always elusive.
ReplyDeleteI like the conceptualization. Might seem to be a little too abstract, but then has an underlying understanding or a meaning to things. Looking at it, I wonder, if you wrote the first two stanzas in one go, and then took a break before writing the next few or was it deliberate?
Conveys a very fleeting and capturing image from the first two stanzas. The title of course gives the entire thing a structure, an abstract meaning, and an underlying philosophy.
I like the entire thing. Use of words and the entire flow is really nice!
Wonderfully woven into a poem, all those lines create a beautiful picture of "her", the emotions lying subtly in those words, in those comparisons.
ReplyDeleteHer caressing the edges, lost in those deep thoughts, the rain and the tear drops, the hope of a day as bright as a flaming hay, the longing for the winds to clear the grey clouds away...
the giggle, rainbow.. the way you have associated all these things with each other.. is beautiful!
The last four lines simply adding on to everything you have said and left unsaid in the poem, making me wonder and think as always.
This poem is lovely! :)
ReplyDelete
This one is lovely! :)
ReplyDeleteThere are two aspects to a poem, in my opinion. One aspect lies in the words we choose. And the other in the emotions we wish to portray.
ReplyDeleteIn combination of these two aspects , one finds a well balanced work of art. And this fine balance has been expertly achieved in this exquisite work of art!